EIGHT
LEGGED
FREAKS
With
David
Arquette,
Doug
E.
Doug,
Kari
Wuhrer,
Leon
Rippy,
Scarlett
Johansson
Directed
by
Ellory
Elkayem
There's
nothing
wrong
with
spoofing
old
giant
creature
films
or
adding
the
comedic
slant.
If
it's
done
this
atrociously
though,
why
bother
raising
the
millions
necessary
to
make
it
if
it
could've
been
put
to
better
use
elsewhere,
or
if
you
could
just
rent
a
bunch
of
classic
B
flicks?
This
small-town-overrun-by-biohazard-enhanced-spiders
is
as
crap
as
crap
can
be.
I
was
absolutely
appalled
at
the
fact
that
many
of
the
press
members
sitting
through
this
drekk
found
the
lame
scenarios
funny,
especially
with
the
abso-f-ing-lutely
irritating
pitch
shifted
human
voices
given
to
the
spiders
with
which
to
react
in
a
variety
of
personalized
exclamations.
You
know,
the
kind
of
pathetic
"uh-oh"
sounds
before
it
gets
splattered.
Gimme
a
goddamn
break
and
do
yourself
a
favour!
Walk
on
by,
unless
your
cinematic
requirements
rate
zilch
on
the
quality
scale.
Even
Arachnophobic
masochists
won't
be
distraught.
A
trainsmash
of
a
film
-
and
as
with
a
tragedy
of
that
kind,
you'll
find
many
rubberneckers
who
can't
resist
giving
it
a
look.
At
least
it
features
a
pre-stardom
Scarlett
Johansson.
2
/
B
-
PB
1
2
3
4
5
6
A
-
B
-
C